'Help, the news is upsetting me': 8 ways to cope

I see it in my practice, and I hear it everywhere… this is a challenging time. It’s easy to hear about something in the news and become upset or angry, or even fearful of the future. Friends, I’m here to tell you that you’re not powerless. Here are 8 things that you can do right now.

1. Label it. Acknowledge to yourself what it is that you’re feeling. You might even say it out loud (“Ok, I’m upset”). By doing so, you’re in effect soothing yourself. As author and psychiatrist Dr. Dan Siegel says, “Name it to tame it.”

2. Breathe. “I know, that’s what every therapist says. ‘Use the breath.’ Blah blah blah.” There’s a reason we suggest it; it really works. Research has shown that deep breathing from the diaphragm activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which controls relaxation.

3. Focus on what matters to you. Is it your family? Your friends? Your significant other? Your work? Your art? Your goals? These are the things that drive you. It can be grounding to consciously orient yourself towards what drives you, fulfills you, makes you smile.

4. Vent. We all need someone to vent to. Turn to those who have shown you that they care. It helps if they’re like-minded, so that your venting doesn’t turn into an attempt at persuasion, which takes more energy. And return the favor by offering the “ventee” equal time to share what’s on their mind.

5. Journal. Put your feelings into words, and reduce it to writing. This can be cathartic. Once you’ve expressed it (even if the only audience is you), it can feel just as good as telling a live person about it.

6. Rely on impermanence. “‘All conditioned things are impermanent’ — when one sees this with wisdom, one turns away from suffering.” - the Buddha. With that in mind…

7. Catch yourself catastrophizing. If you don’t like the way that things are now, it’s easy to conclude that it’s never going to change. This is a very common cognitive distortion. Notice yourself falling into this common trap. Ask yourself if there’s another way to look at it. And then counter it. You might tell yourself, “It’s possible that this won’t last forever.”

8. Be constructive. Channel your anger into something that can make a difference. Don’t just tweet about it; get out there and change things. Go to events, make calls, protest, write a blog post, donate to an organization that shares your interests, etc.  

Remember that these are active, affirmative steps. While it’s not a good idea to keep subjecting yourself to dozens of articles about the same thing that upsets you, resist the urge to go to the other extreme by sticking your head in the sand. It’s important to know what’s happening in the world around you. Avoidance of your reality deprives you of your power. And remember… you have the power to change how you feel.

References

Porges, S. W., Doussard‐Roosevelt, J. A., & Maiti, A. K. (1994). Vagal tone and the physiological regulation of emotion. Monographs of the Society for Research in Child Development, 59(2‐3), 167-186.